Understand

I am living in darkness

There is no life, no light

Just shadows

Shadows of my past, and the horrors of my future

Where do I turn

How do I get out

I am drowning in my sorrows

Air doesn't exist 

Failure is all I have ever known

Why do I try

The more I try, the harder life gets

Deeper I fall into an abyss 

I'm fighting

Fighting to keep sane

To keep from falling apart

Trying to keep the pieces of my heart together 

I never made my canvas bright and beautiful 

It always stayed stained

Stained with black charcoal 

Scarred,beautiful, pained, hurt, depressed

I am something you can't fix

I am tired and unmotivated

I am sick of feeling like a failure

I  will try to  hide how damaged I've become

The shadows have become home

Happiness is just a place to visit

I know it is a wonderful world

But I just can't feel it

I'm often silent

When I'm screaming inside

I can't fear death

When I've died a thousand times

Sometimes it hits me out of nowhere

All of a sudden an overwhelming sadness

I feel hopeless, sad and hurt

And once again I am numb to the world

And yet again

I find myself sitting alone

With nothing to hear but the sound of my heart 

Aching with every beat and breath I take