With every breath I take the ink of my life is fading. Let it fade.
TRUST ME, I know how it feels. I know it hurts. I know you cry IN THE SHOWER. So no one will hear your screams. I know you wait until everyone goes to sleep to FALL APART. It's not always easy but I know exactly what that feels like.
I hate remembering, but I can't stand to forget.I feel so empty. Yet I feel so much pain.
There is a Hell. Believe me I have seen it.
Nobody knows the real me. Nobody knows how many times I have sat in my room and cried, how many times I have lost hope, how many times I have been let down. Nobody knows how many times I've had to hold back to tears, how many times I've felt like I'm about to snap but don't just for the sake of others. Nobody knows.
People cry, not because they're weak. It's because they've been strong for too long.
The mirror can lie. It doesn't show you what's inside.
It's like you're screaming, and nobody can hear.
My tears are like anchors that sink my heart to the depths of the deepest oceans.
My only relief is to sleep. When I'm sleeping, I'm not sad, I'm not angry, I'm not lonely; I'm nothing
I'm okay....isn't that what I'm supposed to say?
She says she's fine, but she is going insane. She says she feels good, but she's in a lot of pain. She says it's nothing, but it's really a lot. She says she's ok, but really she's not.
I tell people I'm tired. But in fact, I'm depressed. I tell people I'll be fine tomorrow. But I know, tomorrow will be worse. I tell lies everyday. And I know, I'll not be able to stop it by myself.
She was a genius of sadness,
immersing herself in it,
separating it's numerous strands,
appreciating its subtle nuances.
She was a prism through which sadness
could be divided into it's infinite spectrum.
Every thought is a battle, every breath is a war, and I don't think I'm winning anymore.
And someday, I hope that my sadness will be replaced by something beautiful.
My ink is fading. But I let the ink fade, with the lasting hope that it will one day be darkened.
Wow. This is amazing. It's real. I'm sorry for all that you are going through. I know it is rough. I wish I could help you some how some way.
ReplyDelete"My tears are like anchors that sink my heart to the depths of the deepest oceans. "
This took my breath away.
"My only relief is to sleep. When I'm sleeping, I'm not sad, I'm not angry, I'm not lonely; I'm nothing
I'm okay....isn't that what I'm supposed to say?
She says she's fine, but she is going insane. She says she feels good, but she's in a lot of pain. She says it's nothing, but it's really a lot. She says she's ok, but really she's not.
I tell people I'm tired. But in fact, I'm depressed. I tell people I'll be fine tomorrow. But I know, tomorrow will be worse. I tell lies everyday. And I know, I'll not be able to stop it by myself."
Most real thing I have ever read in my life. I love the way you write. I know I already said this, but it is so real, so true. You are amazing and never forget that. Ever. Even though you don't know me, I am always here for you. You're the best. Really. (:
I really don't have anything to say. The whole thing was beautiful. I REALLY love your style of writing.
ReplyDeletebut wait this line.. My ink is fading. But I let the ink fade, with the lasting hope that it will one day be darkened.
you are amazing.
Holy shit. ('scuse my language) I seriously do not know what to say right now...you..you just make me cry. You and me friend, we're living a lie. And I'm breathing it, letting it choke me. And this, it helped me breathe for a minute. But at the same time, I'm still choking on the tears.
ReplyDeleteTALK TO ME PLEASE.
"I hate remembering, but I can't stand to forget."
"There is a Hell. Believe me I have seen it."
"I'm okay....isn't that what I'm supposed to say?"
"I tell people I'm tired. But in fact, I'm depressed."
"She was a genius of sadness," -probably my favorite line
"Every thought is a battle, every breath is a war, and I don't think I'm winning anymore."
Damn...this whole this was seriously incredible. I'm going to read it again and again and I still won't be able to breathe. You are amazing, and I love you and you make me cry and I....I just don't know what to do. I'm torn apart with your words.