Stronger

I am searching for the true me. I am the ghost of who I use to be, living half alive.

Feeling so small.

I need to change before it is too late. No more wishing on stars. It never works anyways.

Maybe my hero is just running late. Maybe he is busy saving the world. Saving everyone else but me. Well I am tired of waiting for him to come and save me. 

Screw him. 

I will save myself. Leave the dragon sleighing to me. I will escape my tower to be depressed somewhere else.

I am t.o.r.n.

I have a war in my mind and I am a prisoner.

Rainstorms are clouding over my heart, not letting the sun shine through. 

Holding my breath. Waiting to eventually feel the rays on my skin. 

Waiting, waiting, waiting.

Ice is starting to cover my soul, threatening to crack into pieces. But is it even worth saving?

Stumbling and falling. Each day leaving another scar. Will they ever fade? Will they ever change from this crimson color? 

I clench my fist making sure I am really alive. Time is passing by in a blur. I want to smash the clocks and make time stand still. 

Where is Peter Pan when I need him. Why can't he come and take me to Neverland, second star to the right and straight on till morning. Why can't I fly? Fly far away from my troubles. 

From this pain.

Yet today I feel stronger. Despite all of this.

The pain of May 4th is slowly ceasing, but it will never fade. 

The demons are retracting their claws from my heart. It is starting to mend. Beginning to set me free. I have stopped re reading the last chapter, and a new one is beginning. Finally. I am learning saying goodbye.

The light is pushing through. Stronger and stronger it has become.

I am putting the past behind me.

My eyes are drifting upwards towards the horizon, my neck stiff.

Beauty is returning.