Who am I?

"The prettiest smile hide the deepest secrets. 

The prettiest eyes have cried the most tears. 

And the kindest hearts have felt the most pain."

I may be walking tall

But my spine is curling inside

I may have a smile on my face

But I cry when I am alone

I try so hard to build myself up

Only to tear myself down

Who am I?

I would like to know as well

I look in the mirror and see an empty shell

There is no light or life shinning

All I see is a girl

A girl who has dealt with too much pain

Am I alive or just breathing?

Every breath is a struggle

Surviving battle after battle

A battle to the death, and I lose a little each day

You ask me if I am ok

And I will lie to your face

I am afraid to let my feelings show

Knowing I will be judged no matter what

My soul is trying to find the light

But keeps getting stuck in the shadows

My pain is on replay 

Over and over again I feel it like a broken record

Each time the light seeps in

I grasp it, and try to hold on

But it always slips through my fingers

It is shredded in my hands

My heart has been crushed too many times

Cracked and almost in pieces

 Each beat is agony through my veins

My blood has run cold with pain

I don't know how much longer I will last

Until there is nothing left

When I don't have the strength

Until I can't take it anymore

Who am I?

I am a broken dream

I am a shattered soul

I am a damaged heart

I am severed glass

I am weak

I know who I am

I am tortured  

I am not strong anymore

Shadows

You build up hope
But all you know is failure
Remembering all the pain and frustration
Until it is just a blur

You try over and over again
But it never works
Falling back into the darkness
Drowning in doubt

You fight for what you want
But it is just so hard
Life doesn't seem to give you a break
and you will pull up your guard

Don't give up
One day you will win
You fall down 7 times and stand up 8
and your real life can finally begin

Shadows from the past

Crawling into the present

Should have known it wouldn't last

But I thought...just for a moment...

Living inside a broken dream

Built on false promises

Floating downstream

For once...I was careless...

Drowning in a sea of lies

                       Taste so bitter

Those heartbreaking goodbyes

But...I can't say farewell...

Fighting to keep sane

Battling this pain

Searching for an answer.

Fear

Fear.
I fear everything
it brings on the aching
Fear.
I fear of being alone in a crowd
I fear silence being too loud
Fear.
I fear death
and losing my last breath
Fear.
I fear growing up
and creativity becoming a stump
Fear.
Sometimes I want to run to Neverland
and have time withstand
Fear.
Being afraid will torment you
following in life all the way through
Fear.
I fear of being rejected
and my soul being affected
Fear.
I'm afraid of me
and who I will be
Fear.

What's Inside

Running, always running, but never can hide.

Constantly traveling, and being pushed around.

Sometimes it's hard to get through.

The hardships of life cut deep,

Feeling the sting of the pain,

Like thorns from a rose.

Dark red in color,

Flowing from within, 

Pumping through life.

What's inside?

       Pain

Storm

You look into my eyes, and say they shine like the sky's

But you don't see the storm, that has made me torn

My soul is shattered, as if it never mattered

I'm dead inside, but you don't know that I hide

I hide and hide, hoping the pieces will bind

One soul and one heart, who will always be apart

For the loss I have felt, never knowing 

This is how I've dealt

-Me

Lies

Others hurt and people can see it in their eyes

I hurt and I hide it with lies

I'm fine, I'm good

But no one has really understood

That the pain I feel everyday

Never really goes away

No one looks into my eyes

And sees that they are filled with lies

-Me

What Is Love?

What is love? Love surrounds you. It is what gives you happiness, "Love lifts us up where belong, where eagles fly on a mountain high. Love makes us act like we are fools, throw our lives away for one happy day."

 I have never experienced the kind of everlasting love that you see in movies, or what you read in books. In fact books make me cry, because I want what they have.

To be in love with someone means you give them your heart with no regrets, because they are the ones that are carrying the other half of your soul. The one who will complete you.

Of course I know and understand nothing of this, but I would hope that this is what love is.

What is Love? Is it something you can see or touch? No, but it is something that you can feel. You feel it in your chest, where your heart is, unless you want to feel it in your feet that is cool too. But you can feel it in your soul. It will spread throughout you and fill you with warmth.

Love is you and me falling into eternity.

Every Time It Rains

Every time it rains I listen to the sky
I wonder what's so great about sunshine
So everybody lives and everybody dies
And no one's gonna love you like I do

When it was getting dark, I didn't need a match
I never needed light to see you
You thought I disappeared but I was always here
I could never get that far from you

Though I misunderstand and been misunderstood
So love me 'cause you can and not because you should

Every time it rains

I know it's good to be alive
Every time it rains
I know I'm trying to survive

Take it as it comes and take me as I am

I never was a good impostor
I know how to dream and don't know where I stand
I'm willing to admit I try too hard

Stop playing with my heart, I'm waiting by the phone
Afraid to be myself, afraid to be alone

Every time it rains

I know it's good to be alive
Every time it rains
I know I'm trying to survive
And every time it rains
I'm gonna hide myself inside

I know it's good to be alive
I know it's good to be alive
I know it's good to be alive

Every time it rains
I know it's good to be alive
Every time it rains
I know I'm trying to survive

Every time it rains
Every time it rains
Every time it rains
Every time it rains

-Charlotte Martin

To The Sky

Look to the sky.

Do you remember playing that game when you were little? That game where you look up into the clouds and try to see what the clouds looked like. And most of us probably said a bunny or some sort of animal. And most of us have probably stopped that game. But not me.

 

I look to the clouds for inspiration.

 

I look to get new ideas.

 

There are many things in the clouds. But we never lay down and look up anymore. We are too busy with homework, or we have other places to be. But I think that we should all make time to stop and look up, no matter where we are. 

 

Just stop , and look up.

 

 Look to see what are in the clouds that day.

 

 Look and see if you can see something that you have never seen before.

 

Look and find the creativity that is inside of you, because we all have it.

 

Just look.